It’s interesting that the budget for this film is approximately the same as “Asteroid City” (somewhere in the 25 MM range). Anderson’s film was shot in Spain, with government subsidies. “You Hurt My Feelings” was shot in New York. It’s amazing what 25 MM will get you (or not get you) depending on where you shoot. Anderson’s stylized film looks great but is rather cold. Director Nicole Holofcener’s film is more naturalistic and humanistic.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus plays Beth, an author who’s struggling with her second book. Her therapist husband Don (Tobias Menzies) does and says all the right things to support her. She and her sister Sarah (Michaela Watkins) overhear him talking about the book with his brother-in-law Mark (Aryan Moayed) and it turn out he doesn’t like the book at all. What’s a little white lie between a husband and wife? Well, it’s the end of the world as they know it (but not really, it just feels that way at the beginning.)

The lying component of relationships, both personal and professional, has been fodder for film comedy for quite some time, but this look at it from a familial standpoint really struck a chord with me. The toxic positivity that comes from excessive and often unwarranted support can be more damaging than simply telling the truth. In a terrifically scripted scene, Beth and Don’s son Elliot (Owen Teague) confronts his parents about moments in his life where he knew what they were saying to him just wasn’t true. There’s a realness to the scene that makes you ache while laughing at the recognizability of it all.

The lies that get you through the day are also in play via the other characters. Sarah is hopelessly in love with her husband and that fact that she just doesn’t think he’s that good of an actor doesn’t stop her from telling him he’s terrific in everything! She also refrains from telling her decorating business clients what she really thinks of their taste. Don overhears a patient muttering what he really thinks about his treatment. Mark can’t get over directors telling him that they like him and then not using him. Lies, after lies, after lies. All in the name of love and support.

There’s a gentleness to this film that makes it really appealing. It’s good-natured (but honest), good-humored (there are some really funny moments, often involving a bickering couple – David Cross and Amber Tamblyn – who don’t seem to making much progress after years of therapy) and contains more than one laugh-out-loud scene (my favorite being the post-show lobby discussion with friends and family in a cast). Scenes set in a cannabis dispensary were also quite funny.

Nice to see veteran character actor Kenneth Tigar on screen again in a short but effective scene. (You’ll know him when you see him.)

If you’re looking to step away from summer blockbuster-ish kinds of films, give this one a shot. Running a nice compact 93 minutes, they’ll be plenty of time afterwards for a long discussion with your significant other about all the things you’ve said to each other that you really didn’t mean… because you love them!

Click the graphic below for information on screenings at Rialto Cinemas Sebastopol.